A Piece Of Political Satire From The Syrian Opposition

Over a year ago one of the first posts I made on this blog was Syrian Activists - Laughing In The Face of Danger, a look at some of the humourous and satirical videos being produced by the Syrian opposition.  Since then various videos have been produced, in particular on one channel from Talbiseh, Homs, and I thought I'd highlight one recent example which gives an insight into the political landscape in Syria

Thanks to Wrennic_26 who put together a translation of the video:

[Military uniformed man in back of pickup truck yelling]
"We've got seats! Seats in the Alliance, chairs in the Parliament, in local government, in the provincial council!"

[Group of other men pile around the car, asking about the chairs]

Military man: Oh, peace be upon you.
Mob: And also with you. Seats! What do you have?
Military man: By god, we have seats in the Alliance, in the Parliament, in local government, and the provincial council.
Mob: How much are the seats?
Military man: Well, this seat [Alliance] is 2,000 lira, this one [Parliament] is 1,250, this one [local government] is 1,750, and this one [provincial council] is 250.
Mob: But what, how much did you pay for these seats? The prices for these seats are high.
Military man: Eh, well, we paid for this this seat [Alliance]... about 100,000 martyrs. And this Parliament one, we paid 50,000 martyrs, and this one was about... 50,000 martyrs. And this one 1,500 martyrs.
Mob: Oh!! Well... what about for all of them then!!
Military man: Wh... wh.. for the Alliance one brother?

[Chaos ensues as the mob all grabs chairs and runs off, firing weapons etc.]

[Suit charges in, waving bag of bread -- offers to provide bread for seats; mob member demands weapons instead]

[Bread suit wins over, they reluctantly return seats to the truck]

[An argument then ensues between the mob offering the military man weapons for seats, and the suit, offering bread for seats]

[The military man objects that he paid in blood for the seats, so he cannot give them away lightly; some mob members offer to pay in martyrs for seats]

Military man, suit, and mob member turn to the camera at 2:14, and plead with the people outside of Syria not to waste their efforts by trading in seats, and trading away their freedom.

You can contact the author on Twitter @brown_moses or by email at brownmoses@gmail.com

Leveson In The Thick Of It

If 'The Thick of It' is the 'Yes, Minister' of the 21st century, isn't it time that Armando Iannucci penned a comtemporary 'Drop the Dead Donkey' for our delectation?  Iannucci has gone part way into the press and Dead Donkey territory as he has hinted that a Leveson-style judicial inquiry may well feature in the new 'Thick of It' series, filmed in Spring 2012 and due to air in the autumn.  Imagine what The Thick of It will do with THAT.

Paul Merton might cameo as the editor of an irreverant, fortnightly satirical publication.   Guido Fawkes could reprise himself.  Maybe Peter Mannion will give evidence at the Inquiry - no longer an MP but a professional bagpipe artiste.  Or perhaps Malcolm Tucker (now out of government) might have taken advantage of the revolving door between No 10 and the tabloids. Maybe he's done a 'reverse-Coulson' and is now a foul-mouthed red-top editor - all profanity at daily editorial meetings and paranoid about mendacious smears.  Oh, how we would laugh...

And with self-referential irony, a completely implausible scenario could be connived where the editor of a revered broadsheet was legally compelled to submit a statement under Section 21 of the Inquiries Act (2005) defending a mildly amusing article about a TV programme which lampoons the Inquiry itself - how funny that would be!

Oh.

I, James Harding c/o The Times. Times Newspapers Limited of 3 Thomas More Square, London, E98 l XY, will say as follows:

This is my response to the notice under Section 21 of the Inquiries Act dated 5 July 2012.

The Inquiry has asked about two articles published by The Times: "The Joke is on Leveson in new series of The Thick of It", June 19, and "World of Glitz and Glamour that’s on the revenue’s radar", June 21. In particular you ask why the stories were chosen for publication, why the contents were appropriate and how I consider tile articles comply with the PCC Editors’ Code of Practice.

No, not a comedy script - behold the Fourth Witness Statement of James Harding, Esq., Editor of the esteemed 'newspaper of record', The Thunderer, called to account for printing "The Leveson inquiry has become the inspiration for the next series of the political satire The Thick of It, the show’s creator Armando Iannucci revealed last night. Mr Iannucci said that a 'major inquiry will feature quite heavily' in the next series"

And the second 'Glitz' article?  The one on celebrity tax evasion?  With the accompanying photograph of Sir Elton John? Well, The Times had to issue an immediate correction and apology to him, and Elton "is currently suing the paper for libel."

You couldn't make it up.

You can contact the author on Twitter @brown_moses or by email at brownmoses@gmail.com

Life Of Brian - What Has Hackgate Done For Us?

A humorous piece from a regular contributor.

*A wine bar, somewhere off The Strand*

Reg: We get into the Royal Courts of Justice under the arch here...slip past the Annex marquee here... up these stairs here.... nip down this unguarded corridor, through the back door... jump out from behind the blue curtains... ignore Tony Blair.... and forthwith issue our demands. Any questions?

Tony: What exactly are our demands?

Reg: We're giving Leveson two days to dismantle the entire apparatus of the Inquiry and if he doesn't agree immediately we shout through megaphones - "chilling effect!" and "freedom of expression!" and stuff.  We had a nice cosy bit of self-regulation ticking over till that bloody Desmond stomped off. Bloody Desmond.... Splitter.

All: Yeah, Splitter. Splitter!

Reg: So now we got that Leveson and his lot sticking their noses into our culture, practice and ethics. They're trying to stifle our free speech, the bastards. They're trying to take every dodgy practice we've ever used, not just from us, from our proprietors.... and from our proprietors' executives.

Stan: And from our proprietors' executives' editors.

Reg:  Yes.

Stan:  And from our proprietors' executives' editors' assistant editors.

Reg: All right, Stan. Don't labour the point. And what has Leveson ever given us IN RETURN?

Lucy:  Operations.

Reg:  Operations...? You mean, medical procedures for amnesia? Like elping Andy Coulson's forgetting about still being paid by News International and overlooking those New Corp shares worth forty grand?

Lucy:  Operations...like Caryatid

Reg: Caryatid? Well, that's not your Romans, is it!  *consults Wikipedia*  That's your Greeks... an architectural, draped figure supporting....

Lucy: Police operations. Caryatid, Weeting....

Reg:  Oh yeah, yeah.... gave us that. Yeah. That's true.

Tom:  Forum.

Reg:  What?

Tom:  Forum.

Reg:  Ah, the Forum... the spectacle of gladiators doing battle, the cut and thrust of...

Stan:  No, Reg - that's the Colosseum.

Tom:  Forum. *consults Wikipedia*  A public space, originally of a Roman city, where judicial and matters of public concern could be debated. 'Pro Bono Publico' an' all that.

Reg:  Alright, I'll grant you that the police operations and a public forum are two things that this hacking business HAVE done ...

Len: Justice. Y'know - vindication for Nightjack. And the opportunity to see a top flight legal expert at work.

Reg:  Robert Jay?

Len: No, Alastair Brett.

Ben: And the Judicial Review. The one fought for by John Prescott, Chris Bryant, Brian Paddick and Brendan Montague, all alleged victims of phone hacking....

Reg: Yes, yes. Alright, the Judicial Review, but apart from that...

Den:  The sanctity of evidence under oath... Piers Morgan, Tom Crone...

Len:  Yeah, that's something I'll really miss, Reg.

Ken: Legions!

Reg:  Legions??

Ken:  Yeah, legions of resignations.... James Murdoch, Rebekah Brooks,..

Stan: and Andy Coulson. Twice.

Reg: Alright.... Alright.... But apart from Caryatid, Motorman, Glade, Weeting, Elvedon, Tuleta, a healthy public forum for debate, vindication for Nightjack, the Judicial Review, Alastair Brett, Piers Morgan, Tom Crone, the resignations of James Murdoch, Sir Paul Stephenson, Rebekah Brooks, John Yates, Andy Coulson twice, Les Hinton and Dick Fedorcio.... What HAS hackgate ever done for US?

Lucy:  You forgot Baroness Buscombe.

(Silence)

You can contact the author on Twitter @brown_moses or by email at brownmoses@gmail.com